3 Day Potty Training: Day 1 (Or As I Like To Think Of It, Potty Hell)

Potty train your child in three days! Have you guys heard of this? Sounds amazing, right?

Our neighbors swore by it with their two kids. (Trust me, they are not crazy weirdos who would say their kid was awesome at something that they aren't. The neighbs are good.) As Little Bear approached 2 years old, the neighbs were nice enough to pass along the literature that they had from training their kiddos. I stashed the info away and figured I would pull it out when the time came. Well, the time is nigh.

Little Bear has been showing signs for a couple of months and we finally had a good stretch that I knew I could give him my undivided attention. Yesterday was spent readying a bunch of very exciting underwear (Spiderman, Airplanes, Mickey Mouse, Thomas. All the tiny man faves), prepping possible rewards and a potty chart and catching up on as much housework as possible because I knew the next few days would be insane.

Last night we talked a lot with Little Bear about the fact that today was Underwear Day and we would be getting rid of "ishy" diapers. He was excited. We were excited.

Tonight I am not excited. Tonight I want a beer.

The morning started off great. Little Bear happily tossed his diapers and refilled the drawer with all his cool new underwear. He chose his first pair and we were set.

For those that aren't familiar with the 3 day method listed above, I'll give you a few key points.

• Do not ask you child, "Do you need to go potty?" Instead, constantly, seriously, effing constantly, remind them to "Let Mommy know when you have to go potty." This way they feel more in control. Makes sense, toddlers like control. Yeah, really fricken hard to do. Little Bear abruptly stops playing or scrunches his face and my first instinct is to say the former. Eff!
• Positive Reinforcement is what will keep your child coming back to the potty. Do not scold. I figured that would be SUPER easy. Not so much. The sticker and chart part of that was good but being super positive about urination for 14 hours can actually cause a human to lose their damn mind. It wasn't that hard to not scold... but by the end of the day, it was really hard to not cry.
• Consistency. I usually rock at this. I love routines, especially in parenting. They are glorious! A little predictability in the chaos? Absolutely. Yeah, that's really hard when someone is urinating on your floor.
• Stay near your child. No distractions. Nothing but you watching you child. All day. Everyday. I was alright with this. It was kind of weird but not terrible for me. I'm pretty sure Little Bear hated that and it actually worked against me by day's end. He usually plays on his own for a good chunk of the day, his mom hovering was not cool.

So, new unders on Little Bear's bottom, we set out on a course towards potty trained. The morning was alright. More accidents than successes but that's OK. Before nap I got two perfect successes where he said he had to go, we ran and he went. I felt good going into the nap.

Post nap, not so much. Boy was completely over me reminding him to tell when he had to go and I'm pretty sure was sick of me following his little butt around everywhere.

At a few points Little Bear actually straight up said that he would not tell me when he had to go potty and is not going to keep his underwear dry. Because he's mean.... He didn't say the mean part... But I could feel he wanted to. Seriously, boy wanted me out of his business. 

We did have a couple successes during that time, but they were eclipsed by the amount of grabbing-him-mid-stream-and-running-to-the-potty that I had to do.

The night wrapped up with the hubs taking over for bedtime. He calmly tried to get Little Bear to go potty before bed. Multiple times. It didn't work. Instead he peed in his crib 3 minutes after he laid down. Neat.

I'm hearing the same things from most people tonight: 

"The first day is the worst." 

"Stick with it, if you give up now it'll only be harder later." 

"It will get easier every day." 

"Your child is not out to get you via urination." 

Nobody is saying that last one... but somebody probably should. Soon.

Alright, day one of three down. I figure I have to at least give it the full three days before I fully lose it. Things have to get better tomorrow. Have to.

For now I will just keep smiling, being positive and cleaning up piss. Because I love my son.